End of the year

I finally have everything in place to retire from working full time, yet I hesitate.  Right now my excuse is to see if I get paid the bonus for busting my butt in June, culminating in end stage renal failure first week of July.  I'm not holding my breath, I fully expect them to deny that I made the goals and present the bonus as what I would have gotten anyway at the end of the year, basically the equivalent of an extra paycheck.  

I'm thinking of giving 4 month notice in January.  Then I will be old enough to withdraw from 401k's and IRA's without penalty.  I don't want to be like (boss) Jim or Auntie Lulu and die 2 months after I retire.  Even though I can't travel anymore...well, technically, I can travel, though domestic would be easier than international, but it takes like 6 month of planning to get supplies delivered to my destination--for what, a week?  Then I would have to hand carry the dialysis machine (35 pounds, 2 ft x 2 ft x 8 in) and risk coming across ignorant airline workers who would have me check it in.  I think I'll just wait the 2 to 5 years and pray for a transplant.  Supposedly, I could even do cruises while on dialysis but it's alot of logistics to carry 7-10 days of dialysate -- and where would it go in the cabin?  Those rooms are tiny!

What does retirement look like?

• Wake up, have coffee
• Go to the gym (M-F, 2 hrs/day)
• Home to shower
• 1st goal is to end probate
• 2nd goal is to end Mom's storage unit
• 3rd goal is to create guest bedroom #1
• 4th goal is to create guest bedroom #2 / dialysis supply storage
• 5th goal is to create space in my bedroom for a Lazy-Boy next to the dialysis machine
• 6th goal is to be able to park a car in my garage.  Then I'll get a new car.

I estimate this to take 1-2 years.  I don't have the energy to do this while I work full time.  Making space is to recover my mental health that started going downhill when Mom moved in with all her stuff.  I remember in 2009 crying in frustration that I don't want to live in a warehouse.  It fell on deaf ears so I had to take vacations inside my own head.  Yet here I am still living in a 25% of my of my whole house and two-car garage.

So much for convergence

I was waiting for the Boss to come back from the holiday break.  Last week we got the news that he had passed.  I will miss him.  He was such a wealth of knowledge, but moreso, he was a gentleman.  He diverted the toxicity away from me.  The other managers don't realize or acknowledge my value just for my primary job, not even including all the other stuff I do outside of that.

I was scheduled for cataract surgery for this past Monday but I didn't pass my pre-op appointment, so it has been rescheduled for March and I'll be done with follow-up appointments in April.  That was only one issue for which I need health insurance.  Next, I have a CPAP machine coming.  But...well they say they'll bill me for 10 months before it's mine outright.  Insurance is covering 50% but they don't like to release the funds all at one time, so they probably won't allow me to pay for it and be done with it.  Ugh, I hope I don't have to stay at work for another 10 months.  I'm so jealous of my little brother who was able to retire because he gets a pension and his healthcare premiums are covered 75%.